Lately I've been feeling like the little sprouty, flowers poking up out of the dirt. Hibernating for a season and as soon as a little bit of sun shines down, the momentum of their growth starts.
It's been 4 years of hibernating for me. Questioning my happiness in respect to where, how, and when to live and enjoy things.
4 years ago we moved the kids to Washington D.C. where my little seeds of growth decided it was going to be a long winter. I've never been more flakey, unhelpful, unmotivated, dopey, or frumpy, in my life. I felt like every time I'd feel like I had a foothold on life, I'd land on a little slide and head back down to the bottom of the board.
So many things have been culminating for us. It's reached the point where I feel like the long winter is now getting some sunlight and soon it will be spring. Something inside of me is ready to blossom again. An awakened desire to fulfill my purpose here on earth.
The Lord needed me to be patient with my growth, just as he did with Oliver Cowdery when the Lord said to him in Doctrine and Covenants 9:7:
"Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me."
All this time I've felt like life was weakening me and that my imperfections would always be so exposed. Yet, as I've watch the little sprouts shooting up out of the dirt I'm astonished to come to the realization that these years the Lord has been strengthening me not weakening me. I needed to get my roots firmly planted before I can move forward. This long winter has been to prepare me for future winters and future springs--so I can bloom and grow to my fullest potential. The Lord, especially through our trials strengthens us. These trials have really been a blessing to make me be a better person and be of better service to others.
